Before and After Pictures

What a crazy life we are living.
Time seems to evaporate.

We have been on a wild ride.
I wish I would have taken the time, to write on here in a more consistent way, but found little time to actually log on and hash out my thoughts here.

Instead, alot was written in my prayer journal.
Thoughts, that I wasn't ready to share.

Since we last wrote, we have been busy. The girls finished school,which was a milestone for the girls. Maggi and Emma love their school, Larne, and were very sad about loosing that part of their lives. Especially Maggi, she was going to be a 5th grader, which is the big kid on campus.

Dave and I celebrated 15 years of marriage. We were in the beautiful foothills of the western North Carolina Mountains for training that week, on Community Health Evangelism. We were staying in cabins that only had electricity two hours a day. Talk about living the high life! (Dave did surprise me with an overnight stay in one of my favorite places)

We left there on a Friday afternoon, picked up the girls, packed the car, and headed toward Springfield, Missouri for our Missionary Training. This is about a three week period of training. We learn things in regards to our budget, the girls school, cultural adaptations, etc. The girls had medical testing and dental appointments, and training on life the MK (missionary kid) way. We learned a ton, but also met some incredible people. Our last night in Springfield was our commissioning service. This is like our sending out service. We are prayed over, given a Bible in the language we will be using, and actually commissioned as new Assembly of God missionaries.

It was an amazing time. My dad, and Step mom were able to come and be apart. It was a very special time for us.

We finished our time in Springfield, with two amazing services in South Carolina, and felt so energized and embraced by the churches we visited.

Since being home, we have continued to itinerate really hard, meaning packing in as many services as we can. But we have also started a new transition in our lives.

Transition. ugh. Some people thrive on it. . .
I am not one of those people.

We made the decision, months ago, to make the transition from South Carolina to California during this month. We wanted to be settled in Cali before school started. So here we are now. The time on the calender is here for us to make the transition.

So, I have begun to slowly disassemble my home. One closet, one drawer, one item at a time. Everything in our home falls into one of three categories, Take to Cali/Costa Rica, Long term Storage, Toss.

Earlier this week, I started taking pictures off the wall. I had no idea the events that would follow. It was soooo hard. I held back tears as I did. I am not much of a decorator, but I love pictures, they make my house a home. And taking the picture off the wall, meant that my house was just a house. The blank wall was very painful.

I thought, Oh No, I should have taken a picture of what it looked like before, so I can remember.

And then. . .

The Lord whispered. . . But wait till you put the pictures in your new home in Costa Rica. (maybe not in those exact words, but you get the "picture")

and my perspective changed.

Now, I am going to take the before pictures of my blank walls and the after pictures of my walls in Costa Rica (or wherever the Lord leads).

The name of the crazy blog, is the Cartwright House.

The crazy thing is, right now, we are in our house for 6 more nights, and then I don't know what our address will be. We aren't sure if we will be staying with family or mission housing in California.

But our house isn't about the address, or the pictures on the wall, or how many bathrooms we have but if we are living and "moving" where He wants us to. Unless He builds we labor in vain anyway right?

We are almost all packed up, and the boxes have surprised me. I thought we would have an overwhelming number of boxes, but not really. I have more boxes of pictures, than clothes (true story). I never knew that :)

And I am happy. Truly happy.

(except the leaving family and friends part)

This crazy, amazing, journey is teaching me so much. And it is so worth it. I don't want to miss one single thing God has for me, hard lessons and all.

From the devotional Jesus Calling, for yesterday.

Bring me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn't have. Fear and anxiety still plague you... Blazing missiles of fear fly at you day and night; these attacks from the evil one come at you relentlessly. Use your shield of faith to extinguish those familing arrows. Affirm your trust in Me, regardless of how you feel. If you persist, your feelings will evtually fall in line with your faith (THANK YOU JESUS).

Do not hide from your fear or pretend it isn't there. Anxiety that you hide in the recesses of your heart will give birth you fear of fear; a monstrous stepchild. Bring your anxieties out into the Light of my presence, where we can deal with them together. Concentrate on trusting me, and fearfulness will gradually lose its foothold within you.

I am so thankful for my shield of faith tonight.
(and my empty walls).

Best quotes of the week

The last week has been packed! We had a district council, a ballet recital, a 12 hour shift, school lunches, etc. My mind sometimes can't stop at night, thinking about it all.

It has been a crazy week. But listening to what has gone on around me has brought a smile to my face, during a crazy week!

Some of the best quotes are as follows:

"God told me to give twenty dollars at church today" from Emma before we head out the door. Dave and I look at each, and are so proud, that our daughter has conversations with God. Then about 5 minutes later, Emma hollers, "God changed his mind, I am giving a five".

"Mom, can we use our goggles in the bathtub, and use bubble bath and turn on the jets?"

"Happy Mother's Day Part 2!"

"GO EMMA" from Maggi as she cheered her sister on during her ballet recital, when the rest of the place was completely quiet. I love that they are each others best cheerleader.

"we are at about 40% of our budget", THANK YOU LORD.

"let me introduce Amy, my best friend" from Dave as he introduces me at a service.

"Cartwright Family, you are the first team to arrive. . ." from Emma who wants her entire family to be on the amazing race.

"your testimony ministered to me" from a dear lady I saw at district council

and today, my dad said, "I am proud of you" (enough said)

These are just a few things that made me smile. I think I had a few more, but at the moment they are not coming to me. Next time I am grabbing a pencil. . .

Mother's Day

I love you so much
There is no way I can possibly put into words how proud I am of you
You're absolutely beautiful
Sometimes when our eyes meet
it's like gazing into a reflecting pool,
I see in you glimmers of my past.
do you see in me hints of your future?
You are everything I ever prayed for.
There's nothing about you I'd Change.
I love you more than you will ever know,
more than you will ever ask.
There's nothing I wouldn'g give for you,
nothing I wouldn't do for you.
You are my daughter,
And I willl always love you
with a love so immense
so eternal
I could never find a way to squeeze it into words.

YARD SALE

I am not a yardsaler.

For one, I worked the weekend shift for so many years, I didn't have the opportunity.

Secondly, I like to sleep in.

The thought of getting up early, and going through someone else's stuff, does not sound like fun at all.

But to have my own yard sale.
Different story entirely.

On our journey to get to Costa Rica, we must "purge" our house.
When we board the plane we will have the ability to check in 20 suitcases.
That is it.
So how do you go from a home, to 20 suitcases?

You guessed it, YARD SALES.



I have only ever had one yard sale before and it was with my sister and sister in law. We all only had a few things, but collectively we did well.

So the thought of putting my things on a table, for all my friends and neighbors to look down on was not all exciting. In fact, the thought of it is humiliating. But to have my "home" on those tables, has been a heavy burden for me. See my stuff is not junk. It is what makes my house, my home. I had to put a price tag on the water fountain I got for mother's day, the turkey plate I use every year, the "this" and the "that". It was too much for this mama.

For months, I have tried to plan, how will I decide, what will I keep, how much is this worth, will it fit in a suitcase, is it worthy to be in the precious 20 suitcases. . .

And today was the day.

We have gone in the attics (I have 2), closets, play room shelves, bedroom closets, sock drawers, shoe baskets, videos, kitchen drawers, holiday decorations, garage bins, garden tools, under the couch, and sort, priced, and decided what was going where.

It has been so hard for me. It has been a process. I have tried so many times, to "Count it all joy", and then I think, "it is just stuff" or "you can't take it with you" or from Dave's now infamous sermon "don't store up your treasures where thieves and moths destroy". . .

So many thoughts.

During the yard sale, my girls and my sweet friends little girls, sold baked goods and coffee, and later icees, for victims of the Alabama tornadoes. And it occurred to me, that those victims, didn't get to pack their 20 suitcases. They had a few seconds to grab their most precious things, their family members, and get to safety. And how blessed am I, to have the time to sort through my stuff, and choose what I want to save.



I would be a liar if I said, that is how I approached it, or even now that is where my thoughts ended up. I still feel a little sorry for myself. But I am much better than I was 24 hours ago. Being at the top of a hill, it a totally different view than the bottom. Looking back down this, I can say things like, "I really didn't need that beautiful centerpiece from Pottery Barn, I mean who want something from a barn in their house anyway". . . or "who really needs dishes to match the season".

I surprised myself a time or two, I let go of my water fountain, but kept my Grandma Lamm's deviled egg platter. I mean come on, who but a bride from the South needs a deviled egg platter? But my aunt gave me that, and it is the only thing from my Grandma Lamm I have. I can't sell that.

I have a long way to go on this journey.

I was recently given a journal, and it is speaking directly to me some recent passages are . . .
"when you are shake out of your comfortable routines, grip my hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for my kingdom, say "yes" to the ways I work in your life. Trust me"

Do you see how that was written just for me?

and today. I was up at 2:30 this morning. Feeling really sad for myself, and this is what I read, as I was faced with the challenge of the YARD SALE.

Do not fear what this day, or an day, may bring your way. Concentrate on trusting Me and doing what needs to be done. Relax in My sovereignty, remembering that I go before you, as well as with you, into each day. Fear no evil, for I can bring good out of every situation you will ever encounter.

So here we are, with the first step done. We did great today financially. God blessed us richly.

I was also blessed by a friend who stayed with the me the entire time (minus the hour she was gone to a soccer game for her children) she gave from her own home to contribute to our success. She spent hours over here, sorting things, pricing things, cleaning things, and praying over me. She made sure I was well the entire time. She counted it as her own success.

Another friend, has spent hours listing things on Craigs List. She has her own busy life, full time job, and the demands of her own household, but she makes sure that I am at the top of her list of things to do. She even took our leftover unsold things, and will have a yard sale at her home next week to try and sale those items. Who does that for a friend? As a result of a craigs list sale, one man came over late at night to buy an icecream maker. He paid an inflated price, but walked away with a prayer card, and a promise to make a financial pledge. (Is God awesome or what)

I am so humbled by it all. My mind can not comprehend it.

I am sorry that this is so long. . . I am trying to settle my mind down, and this was one way.

I thought that I would be so sad tonight. But I am relieved. Glad that is over, thrilled to have clean closets, attics, and drawers, and even happier that I can park in the garage again.

And I feel



just a little closer to Costa Rica.

Its just geography

Dave is from California.

And I am from the Carolinas, I don't even say North or South, because I lived so close to the line. . .

We met in Romania.

Crazy, huh?

Who but God could orchestrate something like that.

Our new address will be Costa Rica.


These are all just places on the map. Just geography.

We have lived on both sides of the country, SC when we were first married, then moved to Cali, and then back to SC.

It is all pretty simple, until we applied to be missionaries, and the directors asked us where we were from. Well, Dave is an ordained minister from the Northern California district, and I am licensed in South Carolina.

So we said we were from both.

And that is the truth.
Dave grew up under Royal Ranger Commanders, then grew spiritually under the leadership of the Nor Cal Nevada, and graduated from Bethany in Santa Cruz.

And I grew up under the awesome children's and youth programs of SC, and attended a few years of school at Southeastern.

We both felt we were "from" the perspective sides of the country.

We actually had to declare one district as our home district. Easy right?

Well. . . we were endorsed from South Carolina, but according to the leadership in the Assemblies of God, we had to declare Dave's district as our sending district.

Then it got tricky.

But we serve a God, who has all these details worked out.

As it turns out, the leadership in California accepted our endorsement from South Carolina, and welcomed us in their district AND South Carolina embraced us as being from here as well.

So I guess our Father knew that we would need both sides of the country to pray for us.

We have been blessed to start our itineration process here in South Carolina, and I have had the unique opportunity to be able to go to the churches here in SC to say Thank You. Thank you for giving to the young people. Giving them the opportunity to go to summer camps, to go on AIM trips, and to Southeastern. For praying for the youth, and the providing the leadership in the state that poured into my life.

And this week, we were announced as one of the new missionaries from the Northern California Nevada District, at their district council. We felt so humbled to stand before the men and women who serve in that district. From the children's department, the Women's Ministry (and the invitation to speak at luncheons. . . and to participate in retreats and meetings), to the Pastors, and the leadership of Sup. Braddy, we were overwhelmed.

I was overwhelmed by a friend who gave me a special gift with a handmade journal, a veteran missionary who tucked me under her wing, to the family who anonymously bought our dinner, through it all, you overwhelmed us.

We feel so loved, from both sides of the country. After all, where we are from, and where we are going. . . its just geography.

Quilting

"Create a quilt of memories to keep me warm
An inner warmth that comes from light of happy times
Weave in the threads of holidays of friends and families. . .
Delights of seashore, fields of city parks.
The simpliest happenings threaded out in love
become a pattern for my quilt of memories."

author unknown

Lavish

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!"

I John 3:1


I feel "lavished" on.
So many sweet things happened on this Valentine's Day.
Dave let me sleep in, but HE got up early to take the girls to school. I heard him tiptoe through the room to get Emma's matching bow. (that makes mom and Emma happy. The girls had to be at school today early for an extra practice which meant he had them at school at 7:05! That was better than a store bought card.

He then made my favorite breakfast (which ofcourse involve potatoes)

I got to go to the girls school and help out in their classroom parties! I love doing that. But as soon as Emma saw me she said, "daddy made us heart shaped pancakes for breakfast, what did he make for you?" Then scene was repeated in Maggi's classroom, She added "I knew yours was going to be really good cuz he loves you so much".

There in the fourth grade class room, in the middle of redvelvet cupcakes and stinky silly fourth grade boys MY HEART MELTED. For real. My girls were so excited about the love that their Father lavished on them.

I am proud that my husband thinks it is just as important to show my girls how importnant they are in his life, and instead of looking for a special sweetheart from their classroom, my girls were bragging on their daddy.

It made my day complete. Really. There was more, I am looking at fresh flowers in three rooms, and have a hot date planned as soon as we can find a free babysitter and save some money.

But my before the day was over. . . I got something extra.

Emma said she needed some new jazz shoes, that the ones she had hurt her feet. Well money is tight right now as we are transitioning to a missionaries budget. Dave asked Emma if she could make them work for 3 or 4 more months. Dave didn't realize that these were the shoes from last year, and that her toes really were crammed in them. I emailed a few moms to see if I could swap or borrow them for a while, to no avail. Well I asked our beautiful Ballet teacher if she had any extra shoes in the shoe exchange? Emma started trying on the shoes, and found a pair with MAGGI's name written in them. We had let a friend borrow them, and I guess she donated them, and so since they were obviously once ours, Miss Stacia GAVE them to us.

That my friends is how MY Father has lavished his love on me. Answered prayers.


I know that My Father has Lavished good gifts on you to.

Happy Valentines Day