Anyway, I came across a day that I had underlined, and so I reread it, and boy was the timing perfect.
The title of the page is
"when Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?" Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me"" John 21:21-22
The devotional says to write out WITTY in the margins, meaning: (What is that to you?)
It is so human, and super easy to compare ourselves to those around us, instead of focusing on what he has for us, the road he mapped out specifically for us.
I am going to quote the book from here, because it was perfect. . .
God says, FOLLOW ME. But instead of looking to the Lord. I sometimes look to the situations and qualities of others. I use the excuses, "lord, they speak the language better. . . Lord, they are more outgoing than I am . . . Lord, they have more friends than I do. . . Lord, they are having an easier term than I am. "taking my eyes off God's purpose for me and placing my eyes on someones else's life shows lack of contentment.
You must follow Me. He does not say if I want to or if it easy; He says I must follow Him. God made me the way He did for a purpose. I am the only one who can follow God the way I can. You are the only one who can follow God the way you can. We must follow Him, and we must be content with our role while doing it.
Now don't think this was written just for missionaries, because it isn't, when I wasn't on the field, I had thoughts like, "Lord they don't understand, they don't have to work night shift, or They have no idea what is like having a hard time getting pregnant, or they have no idea the struggles I am facing, or it is so easy for them to start an IV (remember I am a nurse).
So wherever you find your self, you can find yourself taking your eyes off the Lord.
Where we are in Costa Rica, we are at language school with other rookie missionaries who are in the same place we are. We are all trying to learn Spanish, we all just came off itineration, we are all giving up our family, friends, and home to answer a call that is greater than we are.
So it is sometimes hard to not look around. I confess, I am guilty. I get frustrated when every one around me can roll their R's and I can't, or when they understand reflexive pronouns, and I have no clue what is going on. I need to remember WITTY. What is it that to me. God has a path just for me, one that they are not walking. Their road, wether it be in Costa Rica, Gastonia, Folsom, or Lusk Wyoming, has been mapped out just for them.
Lord please don't find me with my eyes on my neighbor, discontent with the plan you have for me. Please keep me from comparing myself to those around me, either at home or on the mission field.
Lord please teach me to be content in who I am in You.
(imagine a really peaceful picture here, but after 2 days of slow internet, forget it :))