CINCEL

OK,

Can I pretend that I haven't ignored the blog the last 6 months?

Life was really crazy, and we were all stretched thin.

So much has happened in the last 6 months.  .  .

The girls finished their first year of school here in San Jose.

We officially became residents of Costa Rica.

The girls started their new school 6 weeks after finishing the old one

(is it just me or did ya'll see the difference in Maggi, good grief. . . .)

We received our driver's license.

and. . .

WE GRADUATED FROM LANGUAGE SCHOOL. .

Words on the page, or a blog, or even spoken can not begin to explain, how each of those things were major milestones in our lives.

I think that is why I haven't written anything down, I just did not have the words to begin to explain how we were living out our life here.

When they give you that test to assess your stress level, well lets just say, we "aced" that test.

The language school we attended here in San Jose, Costa Rica is called CINCEL.  It is where any missionary from the Assemblies of God will go for language studies if they are going to a Central or South American country, or a special assignment that requires Spanish.

CINCEL is short for the Center for Cultural Research and Language Studies.
If you translate the word from Spanish, it is chisel.

Chisel.

That is a perfect description of how our last year has been.
we have been chiseled.

and it has been painful.
and we wanted to quit.
and we cried.
and we studied.
and we humiliated our self trying to speak.

We were slowly being chipped.  carved.  simply put chiseled.

chiseled.

I just couldn't find the strength to share my experience on line.

When we agreed to go. . . at all cost, I don't think we knew exactly what that meant.

Let me point out, that I don't compare myself to people who have paid with their lives, their family.

I don't think we  (except my girls) are extraordinary people.
We have always said, we are just an ordinary family going where He leads.

But when you are being chiseled, and you see the parts that are falling off, you find your self surprised as you watch the process.
Some parts we saw "fall" are parts we thought were essential.  (I am a nurse, so to me, it is like in the middle of a procedure and the surgeon "nicks" an artery")
And to be honest, we felt like we were "bleeding out".

When we were being chiseled we, at times, had "open wounds".

But He kept chiseling.

and we kept moving forward.

I am not so foolish to believe that the "chiseling" is finished.  That does not stop because you get a diploma from a language school.  (but just for the record, I have one)

but, for us, we feel we have reached a milestone.

When we (David and I)  take a moment to look at the big picture, the big project, the "sculpture", we get very emotional.  Even as I type, I get teary. . .

What we couldn't see each day, or each "loss" looks beautiful now.
Even unfinished.

We have overcome very personal attacks, loss of control, defeat, sadness, anger, discouragement, and the list goes on.  Chiseled.

HOWEVER, I wouldn't change it.  Not one stroke of the chisel. We are stronger, our faith is deeper, our commitment is more fierce, our love for each other more bonded.  We trust the Lord more, we want to give more, go more, be more.  We want to be found faithful, obedient, and humble servants.

Thank you so much for sharing this journey with us.  Thank you for the encouragement, the prayers, the packages, the letters, the extra money, the calls, the faith you put in us.  Thank you for loving us, during the process.  Thank you for believing in the "rookie missionaries".

Our prayer for you is that during your CINCEL experience, when you are being chiseled to something that is unrecognizable, know that you are not alone.  We are partners together.

We are honored to be with you, as you are with us, for the "before" the "during" and we will together want to be found faithful for "after" . . .throughout the chiseling process.

A trip to the market

We have a variety of places to shop for groceries here in San Jose.

We shop mostly at a grocery store near our house, because of the proximity to our house.  There is an open fruit and vegetable market on the weekends, and when we get a chance we like to get our fresh fruits and veggies for the week there at the "feria".

We don't generally shop at the central marketplace for our meats but I had to share some pictures

just keep swimming

Not ready to cook with feet yet

Or hearts

ok, or tongue either

I have to admit, I have not gone totally native with all of the food, we stick to what we know, we have added more beans and rice to our diet, and have added many new fruits, many of which we don't even know how to pronounce correctly. . . remember we are new missionaries :)

If this was my full time job

If this was my full time job, I would obviously be hungry and homeless.

I don't know how my time evaporates, but here it is March, and I realize I haven't posted anything this year.  Good grief, how does that happen?

I have some strong examples of how this happens, for example, I tried in January to put a post of pictures from each month of the 2012.  I had sketchy to little internet for a few days, then I forgot.

Then I tried to post some from Emma's bd in Feb, then I realized, that I had deleted her bd pictures, after at least an hour of searching them for them, by that time I had forgotten all about the blog, and was mourning the loss of the pictures. ;(

And finally today, in my efforts to multitask, I had the blog ready to publish, and went to to check an email, and alas, loss the entire thing.

So there it is friends.
My confession


But Life is good.  I have to admit, that learning Spanish is literally our full time job, leaving very little energy (mental or physical) for anything else.  including this blog.

I feel like I need to wait for something "great" to blog about, but people say, that want to know how we are doing, and some of the things we are seeing. . . so I need to do better. . .

So lets start  back with "simple"




Emma's 9th birthay, Feb 4th

Maggi's 12 birthday

2 of the prettiest things in Costa Rica

I will be working on trying to be more intentional on updating our friends and families as we learn to become what God wants us to be here in Costa Rica.

Ps I may even to put some older post that never got published on here, so if the timing doesn't make sense. . . .there is a plan!

We love you guys!

The Message

We are getting ready to wrap up another year, and quite frankly, I am ready to close 2012.  

It has been a wild and rocky one for me personally.  Lots of growth, but with that, comes the growing pains.  And for me, this year was marked with loss.  So I will be the first to celebrate the beginning of a new year.

This morning in my quite time, my Bible was in my bedroom, and since I was up earlier than anyone else, I quietly came down stairs.  I have this little copy of The Message.  So I decided to read in it this morning (it was either that or the Spanish Bible, and since I am not being taught Spanish in the King James language, I went with the Message)

It was a beautiful message to a familiar passage, I had to share:

Psalm 40

I waited and waited and waited for God.

At last he looked; finally he listened.

He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud

He stod me up on a solid rock

to make sure I wouldn't slip.

He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,

a praise-song to our God.

More and more people are seeing this;

they enter the mystery,

abandoning themselves to God.

Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God,

turn your backs on the World's "sure thing",

ignore what the world worships;

The world's a huge stockpile of God-wonders and God thoughts.

Nothing and no one comes close to You!

I start talking about you, telling what I know,

and quickly run out of words.

Neither numbers nor words account for you.

Doing something for you, bringing something to you-

that's not what you're after,

Being religious, acting pious-

that's not what you're asking for.

You've opened my ears so I can listen.

So I answered, "I'm coming.  I read in your letter what you wrote about me,

And I'm coming to the party you're throwing for me."

That's when God's Word entered my life,

became part of my very being.

I've preached you to the whole congregation,

I've kept back noting, God-you know that.

I didn't keep the news of your ways

a secret, didn't keep it to myself.

I told it all, how dependable you are, how thorough.

I didn't hold back pieces of love and truth

For myself alone.  I told it all

let the congregation know the whole story.

Now God don't hold out on me, don't hold back your passion 

Your love and truth are all that keeps me together.

When troubles ganged up on me,

a mob of sins past counting,

I was so swamped by guilt that my heart gave out. . . .

But all who are hunting for you-

oh let them sing and be happy.

Let those who know what you're all about

tell the world you're great and not quitting.

And me? I'm a mess.  I'm nothing and have nothing.

Make something of me. . .

But God, don't put it off.

I love this, and I hope you do to.  

            He made sure I wouldn't slip

                    turn your back on the world's sure thing

                              I quickly ran out of words

                                        I read in your letter what you wrote about me

                                                 your love and truth are all that keeps me together

                                                       and me? I'm a mess

                                                            make something of me!

W.I.T.T.Y.

A friend recently asked about a devotional I had used, and I tried to remember one that I used on here.  So I began looking, and I had actually packed up the book and brought it here, Voices of the Faithful, inspiring stories of courage from Christians serving around the world.  So I had the book out, and flipping through it, Thank you Jesus for your reminding  me to put this in our packed bags.

Anyway, I came across a day that I had underlined, and so I reread it, and boy was the timing perfect.

The title of the page is

W.I.T.T.Y

"when Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?" Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?  You must follow me"" John 21:21-22

The devotional says to write out WITTY in the margins, meaning: (What is that to you?)

It is so human, and super easy to compare ourselves to those around us, instead of focusing on what he has for us, the road he mapped out specifically for us.  

I am going to quote the book from here, because it was perfect.  .  .

God says, FOLLOW ME.  But instead of looking to the Lord.  I sometimes look to the situations and qualities of others.  I use the excuses, "lord, they speak the language better. . . Lord, they are more outgoing than I am . . . Lord, they have more friends than I do. . . Lord, they are having an easier term than I am.  "taking my eyes off God's purpose for me and placing my eyes on someones else's life shows lack of contentment.

You must follow Me.  He does not say if I want to or if it easy;  He says I must follow Him.  God made me the way He did for a purpose.  I am the only one who can follow God the way I can.  You are the only one who can follow God the way you can.  We must follow Him, and we must be content with our role while doing it.  

Now don't think this was written just for missionaries, because it isn't, when I wasn't on the field, I had thoughts like, "Lord they don't understand, they don't have to work night shift, or They have no idea what is like having a hard time getting pregnant, or they have no idea the struggles I am facing, or it is so easy for them to start an IV (remember I am a nurse).

So wherever you find your self, you can find yourself taking your eyes off the Lord.
Where we are in Costa Rica, we are at language school with other rookie missionaries who are in the same place we are.  We are all trying to learn Spanish, we all just came off itineration, we are all giving up our family, friends, and home to answer a call that is greater than we are.

So it is sometimes hard to not look around.  I confess, I am guilty.  I get frustrated when every one around me can roll their R's and I can't, or when they understand reflexive pronouns, and I have no clue what is going on.  I need to remember WITTY.  What is it that to me.  God has a path just for me, one that they are not walking.  Their road, wether it be in Costa Rica, Gastonia, Folsom, or Lusk Wyoming, has been mapped out just for them.

Lord please don't find me with my eyes on my neighbor, discontent with the plan you have for me.  Please keep me from comparing myself to those around me, either at home or on the mission field.

Lord please teach me to be content in who I am in You.



(imagine a really peaceful picture here, but after 2 days of slow internet, forget it :))

I call dibs on that!

We only have 3 more days of class, and I can not find the motivation I need to study. . .

Dave is out with some friends, the girls are fast asleep, and I am trying to understand the differences between saber and conocer, (um hello) but my brain has checked out. . .

So I am reflecting tonight. . .

We have been in our house for a little over a week now, and we are starting to feel like this is home.

Last night, Emma said something to me, that got me thinking. . .

and since I have the time, I thought I would share.

She came up to me, and said,

"mama, I call dibs on the placemats!"

With a thousand and one things running through my head, I was confused.

So I said, "clarify please Emma"

And she said, "when you die, I want the placemats"

What a strange comment, I was thinking. . .

and then I got all teary. . .

Because, during itineration people would ask, "well what are you going to take?" "how many suitcases will you take" etc.

And it was hard, we packed 20 bags, and we each brought a carry on.  So how do you decide what is the most important things to you, things that you will be ok if they are packed up for the next 3 years, and you won't see again, what do you save, what do you throw away, what is so special that it makes it into the 20 precious bags.

This was very hard for me, I gave the girls a lot of leeway, they brought things that I don't think they will ever play with or use.  We left power tools behind and packed my little ponies, thats how important the girls transition was to us.

And now back to Emma's comment.  To me, she wasn't just saying, "I want your placemats when you die" She was saying, "Mama, I love that we have a placemat for every season, when I am old, and have girls of my own (because she doesn't want boys) I want to make my home special and pull out these placemats to remind me of growing up.  Mama, thank you, for taking the space out of the 20 suitcases for these placemats, you made a good decision. "

"Mama, you made this house my home, and I love it."

And that my friends, made my day.
and now I am teary again.

Thankful

I can't believe how fast time is going!

So sorry it has been so long since we have updated.

Our time seems to evaporate here.

So let me try to  update everyone!

Maggi is doing really well in 6th grade.  She has made some great friends at school, for which we are so THANKFUL.  This has been a direct answer to prayer, as many of you know.  She is our very quiet girl, who through itineration and visiting churches, has learned to shine for Jesus, and learned to dream big and take risks to achieve great things.  We went to visit with a team that was working on a church, and Maggi was not going to be happy until she was able to actually work.  We looked over and she was helping carry cinder blocks from the pile to where the workers needed them.  We are very thankful for her quiet determination, her heart of prayer, and how she quietly longs to please our Lord.

Emma, is still going strong.  She is in 3rd grade, and is always chatting and talking.  She is also adapting really well.  She continues to surprise us with her vocabulary in English and Spanish.  Emma is very tall, and with her blue eyes, dimples, freckles, and love of BIG headbands/hairbows, she tends to draw attention to our family.  She loves to be the center of attention.  We know that our Father has big things in store for our little girl who has all the confidence, courage, and faith that it takes to move mountains. We THANK the Lord for this sweet girl

Since we have been here, we have been busy.  

We obtained and submitted our complete packet for our residency visas.  This required many steps and trips to various official buildings here in San Jose.  To give some examples, we had to go bring documents from 3 states in the US with us, we had to have background checks here and the US, we needed to be fingerprinted for interpol, we had to register with the US embassy here, and other random documents, all of this needed to be submitted within our first 90 days in Costa Rica.  If we didn't obtain our necessary paperwork, we are required to leave the country every 90 days to maintain legal visas.  We won't actually receive our residencies for several months (or maybe even 18 months) but, we are very excited to have all of that paperwork submitted.   

Can I hear an amen!

BEYOND THANKFUL

We have also been house hunting.  This is not as much fun as the show on HGTV.  Trust me on this.  The girls became weary of the house hunt.  But we finally found something that we are excited about making our home.  This was another direct answer to prayer.  We feel that we had the favor of the Lord on this big decision.  Our landlord lowered the price by $700 a month for us.

AMAZING

The girls had been praying for specific things (unknown to their parents) and other than having a bathtub, meet every one of the secret desires of their hearts.  

OH HOW HE LOVES US!

  

(one of the things on the list was having a toilet that we can flush the toilet paper, instead of putting it in the wastebasket)

I really need an amen on this one

We have managed to shop for our furniture, all the while learning about the culture here.

For instance, if you see something you want, you should most likely purchase those things immediately.  

We learned this the hard way, who knew that within 5 days, the sofa and chairs I had picked out would sell out in 3 different stores.  We shopped from people leaving the country, from Craigslist Costa Rica (who knew), and from fellow missionaries.  Our move in date is next Friday!  We all thrilled to finally be settled.  In the past 18 months we will have moved 6 times.   The landlord allowed the girls to pick out their paint colors, and we are finding ways to make each room special.  We will show pictures as soon as we get settled.  Emma's bed had to be ordered (again, who knew they sell things so quickly), so it may takes us a while for the big picture for her, but we will show you soon!

And we will be receiving our Speed the Light car soon.  

Merry Christmas to us!

We are actually buying a STL car from other missionaries, to help keep cost down for our first term.

We have done all of this while still attending language school!  

This is no small thing, let me assure you. 

We attend classes Monday through Friday, and have done countless hours of homework, written papers, done lessons on the computer, etc, and then used our baby level language in the police station, with the lawyers helping us with visas, in the grocery store, in the court house, to the taxi drivers, to the salesclerks, to the security guards. . . Because of our adventures outside the classroom we have learned many new vocabulary words 

(fingerprints for example)

And since arriving we have experienced many tremors 

(or as I like to call them. . . EARTHQUAKES)

I will never ever ever get used to that.

We have survived rainy season

and even go to take a trip to the mountain to let off some steam

(actually the mountain let the steam off)

Put we exchanged our annual fall trip, to Volcan Arenal, and really enjoyed getting out of the city.

So I think that catches us up.  The first trimester (as we call it in school) has been all about setting up house, and getting settled.  Our BIG goal is to be completely settled by Christmas.  With a little help from our friends, we think that is almost a reality.  (we have people sending us some packages with shower curtains from South Carolina, a friend from Connecticut bringing a suitcase of supplies on a business trip here, and a friend's nephew from Texas bringing some of our favorite supplies from the states, and of course Nanny bringing some suitcases full of small appliances from our friends in the Northern California Nevada district).  

(it takes a village right)

All that being said, we are ready to meet our National Church friends, scope the field for ministry opportunities, and find our niche here in the country.  We feel we are at a huge advantage to be able to do this our first year, many of our friends at language school will have to do this after they arrive on the field.  We had the option of staying at CINCEL (language school) for the entire year, but we were ready to be settled.  We have visited many churches here, and are starting to meet the presbytery, and executive members.  We feel that this is such an awesome way to ease into a new life.  

So please be in continued prayer for us in the following:

that we begin to see the right ministry for our family

that we will walk in the favor of the Lord 

that we all remain healthy(we have all been on antibiotics since being here)

that the girls continue to THRIVE and begin to feel rooted here

for language acquisition

that our house becomes our home and is a safe shelter for the family

That we are able to make relationships with the Local church despite the language barrier

pray for our families back in the states specifically for their health

for our finanical needs to be continuously met

Maggi asked that you join her in prayer for friends at school begin to know Jesus in a real way

Here in Costa Rica, after the rainy season, the Christmas winds come to dry things up.  

And so it is for the Cartwright family, another season is closing, and the winds of change are upon us again.  And we are thankful for so many things.  We are thankful to be here in Costa Rica, after a life long calling.  We are thankful to have a body of supports who give to us out of sacrifice, that are sowing seeds here in Costa Rica.  We are thankful to have friends who pray without ceasing for us.  The emails, the facebook messages, and phone calls just to let us know you were praying for us, humble us, and often brings us to tears, who are we that you would call out on our behalf? We are thankful for friends all over the nation, and now the nations.  You have supported us through a very difficult last 18 months, and now many have become our missionary family.  We are thankful for our family, leaving them in the US was the most difficult thing we faced in itineration (surprising that it wasn't the raising of the budget).  We are thankful to be on this amazing journey.

Thank You!